Reprinted, with permission, from nhsoccer.com

Parental Support – The Key to Peak Performance

The role that parents play in the life of a soccer player has a tremendous impact on their experience.  With this in mind, we have taken some time to write down some helpful reminders for all of us as we approach the upcoming season.  If you should have any questions about these thoughts, please feel free to discuss it with us, the coaches.

• Let the coach’s coach:  Leave the coaching to the coaches.  This includes motivation, psyching your child for practice, after game critiquing, setting goals, requiring additional training, etc., You have entrusted the care of your player to these coaches and they need to be free to do their job.  If a player has too many coaches, it is confusing for her and her performance usually declines.
• Support the program:  Get involved.  Volunteer.  Help out with concessions, fundraisers, field-clean-up, car-pool, anything to support the program.
• Be your child’s best fan:  Support your child unconditionally.  Do not withdraw love when your child performs poorly.  Your child should never have to perform to win your love.
• Support and root for all players on the team:  Foster teamwork.  Your child’s teammates are not the enemy.  When they are playing better than your child, your child now has a wonderful opportunity to learn.
• Do not bribe or offer incentives:  Your job is not to motivate.  Leave this to the coaching staff.  Bribes will distract your child from properly concentrating in practice and game situations.
• Encourage your child to talk with the coaches:  If your child is having difficulties in practice of games, encourage them to speak directly to the coaches.  This “responsibility taking” is a big part of becoming a big-time player (and an individual off the field).  By handling the off-field tasks, your child is claiming ownership of all aspects of the game preparation for as well as playing the game.
• Understand and display appropriate game behavior:  Remember, your child’s self esteem and game performance is at stake.  Be supportive, cheer, and be appropriate.  To perform to the best of her abilities, a player needs to focus on the parts of the game that they can control (her fitness, positioning, decision making, skill, aggressiveness, what the game is presenting her).  If she starts focusing on what she cannot control (the condition of the field, the referee, the weather, the opponent, even the outcome of the game at times), she will not play up to her ability.  If she hears a lot of people telling her what to do, or yelling at the referee, it diverts her attention away from the task at hand.
• Monitor your child’s stress level at home:  Keep an eye on the player to make sure that they are handling stress effectively from the various activities in her life.
• Monitor eating and sleeping habits:  Be sure your child is eating the proper foods and getting adequate rest.
• Help your child keep her priorities straight:  Help you child maintain a focus on schoolwork, relationships and the other things in life beside soccer.  Also, if your child has made a commitment to soccer, help her fulfill this obligation to the team.
• Reality test:  If your child has come off the field when her team has lost, but she has played her best, help her to see this as a “win”.  Remind her that she is to focus on “process” and not “results”.  Her fun and satisfaction should be derived from “striving to win”.  Conversely, she should be as satisfied from success that occurs despite inadequate preparation and performance.
• Keep soccer in its proper perspective:  Soccer should not be larger than life for you.  If your child’s performance produces strong emotions in you, suppress them.  Remember your relationship will continue with your children long after their competitive soccer days are over.  Keep your goals and needs separate from your child’s experience.

Have fun:  That is what we will be trying to do!  We will try to challenge your child to reach past their  “comfort level” and improve themselves as a player, and thus, a person.  We will attempt to do this in environments that are fun, yet challenging.  We look forward to their process.  We hope you do to!